Oh, Sizzler's trying to make a comeback, huh? Let's be real, who actually asked for this? It’s like waking up one day and finding out that Crystal Pepsi is back on the shelves. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, but some things are best left in the past, collecting dust with your old Tamagotchi and dial-up modem.
So, their big plan is a "makeover" that brings them back to their "swanky, fast-casual roots." Tile floors, wood accents, a fireplace... Are we talking about a steakhouse or a freakin' ski lodge? And a fireplace near the front counter? Seriously? I can already picture the sticky-fingered kids smearing their grubby hands all over it.
But the salad bar is getting a makeover too, swapping stainless steel for bright white surfaces. As if that's going to magically make the iceberg lettuce and watery tomatoes any more appealing. I mean, come on. It's still a salad bar at Sizzler.
And the digital menu boards? Groundbreaking. Truly reinventing the wheel here.
They're acting like this is some revolutionary change, but it sounds more like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Sales lifts of 47% in remodeled locations? Okay, fine. But how long will that last? A month? Two? People are curious at first, then they remember why they stopped going in the first place.
Sizzler's VP of Marketing, Sasha Shennikov, calls it a "brand excavation," digging into what made Sizzler "so great in the first place." Apparently, it's "generational equity." Translation: Millennials remember their grandma taking them there after little league, and now they're supposed to drag their own kids there out of some misplaced sense of obligation?
Give me a break. My "Well Done" moment doesn't involve lukewarm steak and questionable buffet choices.
They even brought back a cow mascot from the 50s and named it "Ribby Ribeye." And other "Taste Buddies" like "Toasty, the brand’s cheese toast avatar, and the Salad Bar-barian." I'm not even gonna touch that.
They're trying to tap into that warm, fuzzy feeling we supposedly have for Sizzler. But let's be honest, that feeling is probably more like a vague sense of "oh yeah, I guess I went there once." And they want to sell you a sizzler steak near me.
Sizzler is even focusing on the cheese toast. They had to work on their famed cheese toast that was created by Del Johnson in 1958. Apparently, the process was not always flawless. So they spent time with restaurants and franchisees. They added training videos and held practices. They asked franchisees to make their own cheese toast. They even hosted a competition for the best cheese toast where the winner received a framed photo.
Are you kidding me? A competition for cheese toast? This is what they're focusing on?
But hey, at least the cheese toast is better now, according to Shennikov. Small victories, I guess.
Look, I get it. They're trying to stay relevant. They're trying to bring back "The Sizzler" meal – a steak on fries with garlic sauce. They're trying to get back to basics.
But honestly, I just don't see it. The world has moved on. There are better steakhouses, better salad bars, better everything. Sizzler's problem isn't just outdated decor or inconsistent cheese toast. It's that the whole concept feels… well, old. The company is hoping to turn things around, as Sizzler’s Latest Rebirth is About Getting Back to its Roots—Not Reinventing Them.
Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe there's a generation out there just itching for a taste of their childhood. Maybe white salad bar surfaces are the key to unlocking untold riches.
Then again, maybe I'm just hungry.
